If you are struggling while caring for a pet with behavioral challenges, you are not alone
You might be experiencing pet caregiver burden
As a veterinary behaviorist, I work with so many devoted pet parents who reshape their lives for the animals they love. Depending on the behavior of concern, this may include measures such as: limiting visitors to the home; waking up at the crack of dawn to have a lower-stress walk; hiring a pet sitter just to go out on a date (or foregoing social engagements entirely); even moving house to a quieter neighborhood with fewer stressors. The list of efforts made to improve their pets’ lives is lengthy.
All too often, despite all of those efforts, many of these pet parents worry that they are not doing enough AND face misunderstanding and criticism from others about the pet's behavior—often from people who have no idea of the scope of the issue or efforts taken to address it. Phrases such as "there are no bad dogs, just bad owners" get tossed carelessly about. They're told they're not a strong enough leader, or need to be more "alpha". Family members and friends struggling to understand the accommodations made for this pet may suggest "it's just an animal, get rid of it”.
None of this is helpful and it can feel quite isolating.
To better understand these experiences, several years ago we researched what it's like to live with a pet who has behavioral challenges by asking people just like you to share their stories. The stories we were told were powerful—they were filled with so much love, but also so much sadness, frustration, embarrassment, guilt, and worries about the future. Most also shared how their pet’s behavior impacted nearly every part of their life—from daily routines and relationships, to emotional wellbeing. On top of all this were feelings of isolation and judgement from others.1 The study highlighted what you probably already know: loving a pet with behavioral issues can be both incredibly rewarding and incredibly difficult.
Caregiver Burden Affects Pet Caregivers Too
Living with and loving a pet with behavioral issues can affect every part of your life—your routines, your finances, your social life, and your emotions. Even when treatment is going well, it’s still a lot to carry. And if you’ve ever felt overwhelmed, exhausted, guilty, or isolated because of it—please know that you are not alone.
In a follow-up study, we looked specifically at caregiver burden—a term used to describe the multifaceted challenges experienced by someone while providing care for a sick family member. While originally studied in humans caring for other humans, pet caregiver burden is being investigated in those caring for chronically ill dogs and cats—and yes, it is real.
In our study, we surveyed over 300 dog caregivers who had sought help for behavior problems at our veterinary behavior clinic. The results:
Nearly 7 out of 10 reported clinically meaningful caregiver burden.2
More than 1 in 4 were dealing with burden that fell into the severe range.
Yikes!
Notably, a greater percentage of dog caregivers in our study reported clinically meaningful burden compared to those caring for dogs with other chronic conditions AND their burden scores were, on average, also higher.
This study echoed what I see every day in practice. Many people are trying really hard to help their pets, and that can have big impacts on the rest of their lives. It can be a lot to manage and it’s normal to feel a mix of emotions about it.3
Do You Think You Might Have Caregiver Burden?
If any of this has resonated with you, I encourage you to find out by taking the validated pet caregiver burden survey. It’s called the ZBI Adapted for Pet Owners, and is a short survey of 18 questions. You can find it here along with the reference ranges and additional resources.
Next, consider connecting with other pet parents facing similar challenges through a support group. The isolation piece is real, and it can be incredibly helpful to sit in a safe space and share your experiences with others who actually understand your experiences. We have a monthly free support group just for this, and will be launching specialized groups for specific issues, such as separation anxiety, in June.
Finally, don’t forget that while caring for your pet, it's crucial to also care for yourself. If you are struggling and feeling overwhelmed, confused about what to do, or dealing with a mix of emotions about the situation and your pet, a Veterinary Social Worker can be a great source of support. Veterinary Social Workers are human mental health professionals that receive additional training on the human animal bond and human-animal interactions—in other words, they really get it.
Several are available that can provide one-on-one sessions either in person (depending on your location) or remotely.
To find a public access directory of veterinary social workers and human-animal interaction professionals in the United States, click here.
If you’d like to schedule a 1:1 Peer Support Session with our Veterinary Social Worker, Valerie Bogie, you can do so here.
If you’re caring for a pet with behavioral issues—or have in the past—you are not alone. So many others share your experience, even if it’s rarely talked about. We hope this helps shine a light on your journey with your pet and encourages others to meet you with more empathy and understanding.
Thank you for reading
💜,
Kelly
Insightful Animals is operated by me, Kelly C. Ballantyne, DVM, DACVB. I’m a vet behaviorist, nature fanatic, bird artist, wife, and mom to two hilarious Ragdoll cats, Pipit and Towhee. In my day-to-day, I consult directly with pet parents and veterinarians on a range of behavior problems in dogs and cats.
You can find the full article here: Living with and loving a pet with behavioral problems: Pet owners’ experiences
Clinically meaningful caregiver burden is linked to above-average levels of stress, depression, anxiety, and lower quality of life in pet caregivers.
If you want to really dig into the details of this work, you can read the full open-access article here: Assessment of caregiver burden in owners of dogs with behavioral problems and factors related to its presence